There is Beauty in the Mess
Walessa Maki
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
When I first saw the top of this piece I knew it was going to take a lot of work to fix it. The humidity had already sat long enough on the wood, raising the top and showing brown spots as a sign of mold. If I was going to bring out its true beauty, I had to strip off the damage.
The process of turning it into what it is now was messy, noisy, and sweaty. But, thinking of the possibilities of what it could turn into kept me going. I used my putty knife and hammer and began removing the moldy wood. It took several hours over a few days. I was working in my garage so I’m sure the neighbors were wondering what I was doing, and at the same time, hoping that the noise would be over soon.
I was so hot, wiping the sweat that was running down from my forehead to my cheeks. Suddenly, God spoke to my heart. He said, “I see you the same way you see this piece.” I thought,“What do you mean Lord?” “I look beyond the imperfection of your soul, the damage of the past, and focus on what you could be if you’d just let me strip away the damage in your heart.”
See, I had been dealing with debilitating anxiety. The type that affects your daily life, and lingers long enough to cause some damage, just like the humidity had done to the dresser. It made me want to hide so nobody would notice the imperfections of my soul. Afraid that if people found out what I was thinking and feeling, I would end up unwanted by friends, left behind by family, just like the pieces I find at the second hand store.
God knew I was focusing on my damaged areas too much. My anomaly was making me feel guilty and inadequate. Being a Christian and dealing with anxiety puts you in a spot where you and others think you’re not doing enough. Was I not praying enough? Serving enough at church? Believing in God enough? Cleaning enough? Being a good enough mom? Spouse? All of the insecurities made me believe that my wreckage was too much for God. I had been feeling bad for so long that I thought I was beyond repair.
On the contrary, it was in that moment, that God convicted me that He wasn’t done with me yet. He reminded me that some processes are longer and messier than others. But that is ok, because God can make something beautiful out of it. He also brought to mind that I was overlooking the parts of me that were still good. That even I, “yes, even me!” still had a lot of potential. I just needed to start shifting the way I saw my shortcomings and begin to see myself the way He saw me.
Isaiah 55:8 says,“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
And the only way this transformation was going to take place was by letting Him continue to strip away the pain, the hurt, and the old patterns of thinking.
In Isaiah 43:18-19 says,“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I’m doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I’m making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wastelands.”
I don’t know about you, but as scary as a “new thing” can sound, I was tired of being stuck. So right there and then, I agreed with God and said “Ok, I’m ready for something new, do what you need to do.” As I started learning things about myself, my mind made a lot of noise, and so did my emotions. Being vulnerable is for the brave, but we must go through it. Although, this doesn’t mean we are going to stay bare, exposed, or made fun of. He strips us off to give us a new finish. His finish does more than protect us from future damage; it also covers us with love and grace, so that we can see ourselves like He sees us.
The perfect piece to refinish is the one full of imperfections. That is how the teacher shows His best work. Trust God’s vision for your life, put your heart in His hands and observe Him do miracles. He is the artist and your creator. Are you willing to be His masterpiece?
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the things He planned for us long ago.